Tonight, as I was searching for my research paper in my hard drive, I found an untitled document with the first line saying “nine months have passed and nine months…” and when I opened it, it was an essay, or more like a diary I wrote more than seven years ago. I can`t believe I wrote more than 3100 words in that diary. I must have a lot of time then or maybe there were just so many things that amazed me that I wanted to share and write. Here it is:

Nine months have passed and nine months more to go for my stay here in Japan. Halfway of my scholarship term. Since leaving my homeland, I cannot count the many great and first time experiences I have had for staying in a foreign land.

It was in autumn when I first came to Japan as a scholar and I fell in love with the season right away. It felt like I was in a western movie scene I used to watch when I was still in the Philippines. I was so amazed how the leaves changed colors from green to yellow, and after that to many shades of orange and then to red. I was mesmerized by the view of the falling leaves that hit the ground and cover it like nature’s carpet. It was the first ever autumn experience in my life. I have never experienced it in the Philippines, where it’s summer all throughout the year. In my country, trees are always green.  

The first time I saw a Ginko tree, I was with my friend, another international student from Myanmar, riding our bicycles on our way home from school. I was so amazed upon seeing its golden yellow leaves falling on the ground by the blow of the wind. We stopped and got off on our bicycles. It was so beautiful to ignore. We took a lot of pictures and even sat on the pavement to take a pose with the yellow autumn leaves carpeting the ground.

It was this time when I was still new to the place, a foreign place, that I use to go around the neighbourhood on weekends visiting parks and playgrounds. I took pictures, a lot of them. Pictures of my new surroundings and the beautiful autumn leaves. I could feel the cool and soft autumn breeze on my skin. The beauty of nature engulfed me and autumn season had become my instant favourite.

Not long after that, winter came, the season I scared the most. I have never experienced winter in my life. The lowest temperature in my city is around 24 degrees Celsius and for me that is cold.  I was told that in winter, the temperature could go down below zero. Below zero! Colder than inside a freezer. Definitely unimaginable for me. I could freeze and die, I thought.

It was cold in winter. Really cold for me. I had to wear thick clothes which I was not used to. I wore many layers of clothes, heat-tech stockings, a scarf, a hat, gloves and boots. It took more time wearing clothes than usual. And more clothes to wash, too. It made me look fat in photos. It seemed like nothing was good about winter. Except that I was very amused when, for the first time I saw my breath that was white in cold winter days. I wanted to take a picture of it to show to my family but I couldn’t with my low resolution camera. I tried many times but I failed to take a vivid image of that white, cloudy vapor coming from my breath. I was like a kid! It’s funny just by thinking I was doing that.

But, there was one thing I was so looking forward in winter. Snow. Yes. I was so excited to experience the first snow in my life. I used to always check the weather app to see when the first snow would come.  And when it finally came it was terrific. That moment was like a dream. An unbelievable sight! The morning the first snow was expected, I stood up by the window waiting for it like a mother waiting for his children to come from school. It was a Sunday morning when as I split the drapes open in my balcony, I saw some white bits of paper-strips-like thing floating in the air, and slowly as the wind blew harder, more of those white thing fell to the ground from the sky. And when I realized it was snow, that I had been waiting for so long, my heart beat fast and I wanted to scream for joy. I didn’t know what to do at first. Should I take a picture or a video? Should I go out and feel it? Then, I thought I should call my friend living two doors away from me to tell her of what was happening. However, she was still sleeping at that time and my call woke her up. And when I looked out the window again, the snow was gone, it stopped. It was just a light snow anyway. But days after that, the second snow was heavy. It turned everything around my apartment to white. Branches and leaves, roofs and roads, and the open ground of our dormitory park which is in front of my room had turned into white. A sea of snow indeed! And while I was enjoying the scene on the balcony of my room in the second floor, my dorm mates from tropical countries were outside running and playing with snow like kids. I saw them taking pictures with all smiles merriment with their eyes saying “Hey! It’s Snow! It’s Snow! We don’t have snow in our homelands, you know!”

Although I find snow to be so fantastic, I still don’t like winter. One mid-winter morning, my friend and I went out to catch up an early train going to the University we will soon be enrolling the next semester. We were just in our dormitory’s parking area ready to leave when I realized that I left my gloves in my room, but, because I thought it was alright without it and that the cap, jacket, scarf and boots I wore were enough to help me get through the cold morning, I shrugged my shoulders and left. We were riding on our bicycle going to the train station and before even reaching our destination I felt that my fingers were slowly freezing and later my hands became very painful. I felt that my hands would explode and I did not know what to do. My cheeks were also icy cold as we were cycling against the winter breeze. I kept on going but the station was still about two hundred meters away. That time I was crying inside of me but I pretended to be strong. It was too painful to bear. If only I went back to my room and got my gloves, it would have been a different situation. I could not be suffering like that. I thought that something bad would happen to me like maybe I would collapse or just stop breathing instantly. When at last we reached the train station and saw a vending machine, an idea came into my mind. I stopped my bicycle and hurriedly ran into the vending machine, searched my wallet for some coins and scanned through the products that said “HOT”.  Even though I don’t drink coffee, I pressed the button and out came the hot black coffee in can. I immediately wrapped my hands around it and it somehow eased the pain. Sigh! That was close to an emergency. Then, we properly parked our bicycle at the parking area of the train station located about fifty meters away from the main entrance.  Before we could even get back to buy our ticket, the hot can of coffee in my hands had become cold. We walked hurriedly again and got inside the convenience store just right in front the ticket counter and bought some small hot bag the Japanese called “Kaero”. Those little bags of “Kaero” helped me survived the icy trials of the cold winter days.

  Since then, every time I see a can of black coffee, I remember how tough it is during winter and how risky it is to forget little things I think are not important, which could put myself into danger or simply make an experience really unforgettable.

  Winter almost bade goodbye and spring was around the corner when we moved from Fukuoka City (the biggest city in Kyushu, Japan) to the farther and smaller city to the North, Munakata City. We had to move because we were assigned to attend two Universities. One semester (six months) in Kyushu University in Fukuoka City for the Japanese Intensive Course and two semesters (one year) in Fukuoka University of Education in Munakata City for our major study.  

  It was the night of March 1, Friday, another memorable date in my stay in Japan.  You will never know the things you can do until you are put into a difficult situation where you have no other choice but to be decisive and take the risk or even break the rules.

  Let me start it this way. With the help of my sister and my brother-in-law, we were able to transport our things from our previous dormitory to our new apartment using their car. It was big enough to carry our entire luggage, including two bicycles and a washing machine. We arrived at our new apartment at around two in the afternoon and after unloading all our things, I let my sister and her husband leave since I was too ashamed to ask for more help the fact that they had been helping us move out the other day. I thought I could handle the rest of the things with myself. So, that was it. After they left and after eating the burger and fries set we ordered from McDonald’s drive-thru, I started figuring out where to put things and how to arrange them to make my new little room homey as much as I could. My friend living in the next door also did the same. An hour or two later, representatives from the gas and internet connection office arrived simultaneously to set the registration and everything and with our handful skill of the Japanese language, all went well.  After the transaction, I and my friend decided to go to the nearest department store they called Mr. Max about a kilometre away from our apartment to buy beddings since the apartment we just moved in had no bed sheet, no pillows, no blanket, no warmer, nothing at all. Just bed. Unlike our previous dormitory that was all furnished. In our new apartment, we had to buy or else how could we sleep comfortably, especially that night. It was around five in the afternoon when we left our apartment and it took us hours to select and decide which beddings to buy. It was not that we were picky but the reality was that we didn’t know exactly what to buy and we were also considering our budget. Finally, after my friend said she got a bit headache of thinking which is which, she decided to buy the set beddings disregarding the price while I selected each piece of items with colors that coordinates. After paying at the cashier, the biggest problem that we realized that night was how to bring those big packs of beddings to our apartment since those were large they won’t fit on our bicycle’s basket. We could not even carry them with one hand. When we asked an employee if there’s a way that could help us carry those things, he directed us to the delivery section. It was almost the solution but after a few exchange of conversation with our tattered Japanese with the person behind the counter, we realized that the items will be delivered the next day and not that night as we wanted. So we withdrew our transaction and went out the department store waiting for a taxi to pass by. But not even a taxi came and the department store’s lights lit off one by one. It closed. Also, the cars parked in front of us slowly went one by one. If only I had the confidence to stop them and say “Hey! We need help! We need transportation. Please carry us to our apartment nearby.” But, I was not that desperate, or let us say I was not that tough to admit I was weak.  It was also impossible to ask help from my sister since she lives one-hour away from our new place. So we remained outside waiting, thinking and discussing for a solution what to do with our luggage with our tired body and empty stomach. We pushed our Mr. Max cart fully loaded of those big packs of beddings towards the brighter area of the car park. Then after a few steps, we pushed few steps more. Until we came up with a brilliant idea. “Why not push this Mr. Max cart with our luggage down to our apartment and leave our bicycle here in exchange. We will just push the empty cart back here and get our bicycle back.” We were laughing and doubtful at the same time when we thought of that. At first, my friend was hesitant because it would be too distracting and embarassing to be seen pushing a fully-loaded Mr. Max’ cart down the road at night and said “Dame to omou” which means “I think it’s not allowed”. But, I insisted. It was the only choice left and my tired body and mind couldn’t think of another way to resolve that helpless situation. So we started pushing the carts at the silence of the cold night. When we passed by the high-way, it was tolerable. No nearby houses to see us and most of the apartments were high and far enough not to notice us pushing. But, the shame started to slap at our face when we passed by the narrow and somewhat downward street near the train station going down straight to our apartment. We looked so weird pushing those carts with heavy loads having a hard time controlling the cart since the loads were too big to be able to see the steep road in front of us. The steel carts also made a very disturbing noise in the rough road that every time we push, it seemed that it would awaken all the sleeping residents of the apartments nearby. It was when we crossed the first intersection that my friend decided to quit pushing and instead suggested to carry the luggage with our hands, maybe because of fear and shame at the same time. So we made up another plan. She would go alone and carry her big pack of set beddings to our apartment while I will wait in the corner and take guard of the rest of the luggage and the two carts. So, she went, and I was left at the corner alone in the cold and dark night. At that moment, I realized how difficult it is to live alone in a foreign land.  And how difficult it is not to think in advance or plan ahead. Minutes passed and she came back. We carried all the rest of the luggage with our hands and left the two carts in the corner. From that corner, our apartment was about two hundred meter-far. We were laughing at ourselves while walking. We even took pictures carrying the luggage in a narrow weakly-lighted street. After several steps, and rests, we finally arrived at our apartment building. We were so hungry we had instant noodles for dinner right away. Although we wanted to rest, we could not because we still had to walk the carts back from where we took them which means we still have to walk a kilometre away. Going back to Mr. Max was even more shameful because the empty carts even sounded noisier than with loads in them. It couldn’t be helped so we went our way.  It was around ten in the evening at that time. The few people we happened to come across showed a surprised face seeing us pushing those carts. Finally, we walked past the narrow street and while on the high way we couldn’t stop laughing at ourselves while pushing the carts. We looked silly but we made it. We took the risk. We took the shame. We never imagined we could do a thing like that. We left the carts in front of the main entrance of Mr. Max and rode our bicycle back to our apartment feeling contented we were able to surpass a difficult situation. We slept that night feeling the comfort of our newly bought and self-delivered beddings. And that was how our night ended. From then on, we could never forget Mr. Max and March 1. The 3M’s of our student’s life in Japan. It would be better if we can give a nice meaning to 3Ms. Manly because we acted like a man when we carried those big things. Magnificent because the idea was somewhat unimaginable. And, Memorable because simply, how can we forget an experience such as that?  

There will be more memorable experiences ahead of us as we go on with our lives here in the land of the rising sun.

  It is rainy season as of this writing. We have to go to school five times a week with expectations of a strong wind and irregular light to heavy rains. Opposite to winter, it feels so hot this season at early mornings, hotter than I thought it would be and with rain showers starting to pour in the afternoon, it is hard not to catch Mr. Virus. He hit me once few weeks ago and it was tough. It was also one of my most dreaded things to happen while I’m here – to get sick while I live alone. But I also survived that. I took care of myself without the usual care I used to get from my mother at times I get sick.

The next thing I dread about is experiencing summer heat here. My Japanese friends said “Mada, mada natsu janai yo!” It’s not yet summer. Which means it will even be hotter months from now. “Demo, shouganai!” It can’t be helped. On the brighter side, I am looking forward for that time to come. For I am sure more experiences will be added to my list. Some more lessons will be learned.

  I would be forever grateful to God and all His people, the government of Japan for granting me this scholarship. The experiences I had and will have during my stay here will help build a new me. An empowered woman, an independent person yet never perfect. For nobody’s perfect.

  We will always be put into trials and difficult situations and it will be up to us to either sink or swim in the waves of life.