Mari’s Great-grandma


No one is ever ready to face the passing of a loved one, no matter how sick or old they are. It is the only truth that people keep on denying. Losing a loved one is so surreal.

Sunday morning of March 3rd, 2024, past 11 in the morning, Japanese time, was Saturday evening of March 2nd in the US – the shocking moment when we got a sad news that grandma Done had passed away. I immediately got my husband Casey’s attention, and then we called Mom on the phone. Mom confirmed that Grandma passed away in her sleep. Our faces showed shock, and our hearts felt broken.

My little daughter Mari noticed my teary eyes and asked why. So, I told her that her dear great-grandma had passed away. She might be too young to understand the concept, but since my father passed away nine years ago, long before she was born, I have been teaching her what that means. It means that the person is gone forever. You can’t see them anymore. You can’t talk to them anymore, but, that person can see you. They can hear you. They are where you are, every time you think of them. That they live in our hearts forever, and stay in our memories.

Grandma Pat, as I call her, was one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. I can count such people with my fingers. The day my husband brought me to meet them for the first time in their beautiful house, I was amazed and awed by how spotless and clean their beautiful home was. Homes like theirs were something I had only seen on TV or at open houses. It made me feel I have to watch my every step to avoid making a mess or leaving a mark wherever I went. Their first living room was elegantly styled, and inviting, perfectly arranged. The second, main living room was cozy and dainty in white covers, nicely decorated with her handmade creations. I was truly amazed at how she could keep her house sparkling despite her age.

On the second floor, where her sewing room was located, I was even more impressed with how everything was so organized. It was almost unbelievable because my image of a sewing room was totally different – piled clothing, textile cuttings, scissors, threads, – thanks to those seamstress neighbors who used to sew my school uniform. Grandma’s sewing room was different. It was very organized and showcased a spectacular display of her creations and arts. The threads and textiles were organized by colors in drawers and closets. The walls were beautifully adorned with finished products and original creations. It was like a dream place for sewers and seamstresses.

She was an amazing artist. Yes, sewing is an art and she made a lot of obra maestra. I was fortunate to be one of the lucky people who received her wonderfully handmade bags. I actually got two and I love using them. The bags are durable, lightweight, convenient, and very functional with spacious pockets. My daughter Mari, her great-grandchild, received a neatly sewn sling bag the first time they met. A cute bag that is perfect for her size and it comes with a matching purse. It is light blue and pink, with cute rabbits and a pink ribbon on it. She also lovingly taught Hana, my stepdaughter, how to sew and was very impressed with her skills. She was very happy that Hana likes sewing just like her. Sewing even made her appear on TV for a truly impressive cause. She sewed hundreds of masks during the pandemic, and her heroic act made everyone who knows her proud.

I wanted to ask her a lot of questions, and I regret that I couldn’t. Either my timing was bad, and I couldn’t keep up with the conversation when we visited them, or I was just always at a loss for words. I couldn’t interrupt my husband when he started talking endlessly with Grandma and Grandpa. The last time we visited them, was also my daughter’s first time meeting them. I was very worried that my daughter, who was just a very active two-year old toddler, would make a mess in their very neat and orderly house. My mind was preoccupied with worrying about my daughter, causing me to miss a truly wonderful opportunity to bond with them. I wanted to ask her more about being a mother, raising children, being a wife, being a sister, aging gracefully, or just listening to her stories about her life and experiences in general.

Nevertheless, I experienced firsthand her home-cooked meals, brief conversations about how she loves and thinks about her children and grandchildren, and she also took us out to some nice restaurants. We spent great times together with her equally wonderful sister, sweet lady, aunt Janet.

Grandma was always with Molly, her pet dog, just as she was always with Grandpa. If I’m not mistaken, they were married for 68 wonderful years! Amazing, isn’t it? They are the only couples I know who have been together for that very long. Sharing love, sharing wonderful years, and lasting memories together. I can only wish to age gracefully like them and spend a wonderful lifetime with my husband as well. Molly, on the other hand, is truly, the cutest dog I’ve ever seen. She is small and white, with her ears cutely hanging on both sides makes her even cuter. She sits perfectly on Grandma’s lap. I never heard her bark, and she always has this cute face that beckons everyone, even non-pet owners like me, and especially our daughters. We love Molly.

Thinking that Grandma is gone is shocking and heartbreaking for everyone in the family. Most of all, Granpa – I can never fathom Grandpa’s feeling of loss. And what about Molly? If we could only use Doraemon’s “Doko demo doa”, “Anywhere Door in English, we would want to instantly transport ourselves to the US to be with the family in this time of mourning, offering each other hugs and comfort. Since we are so far away and facing different circumstances, we can only wish that will happen. However, Mom comforted us, reassuring us that grandma is now watching all over us. There is no more pain for her, as she passed peacefully in her sleep, just as she wished.

As I am writing this narrative, it still hasn’t sunk in that she’s physically gone from this earth. We can no longer meet her or hug her anymore when we visit our family in the US. Her face, her smile, her lovely voice – they are still so clear in my head and I am sure Grandma will live forever in our hearts and memories.


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