Mar Yan

Category: Pregnancy Journey

  • Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020

    2019 has been so far the best year for me. I finally got pregnant after a long wait and gave birth to our precious baby daughter. I invited my family to come visit me here in Japan two times -in spring and in summer to autumn. I also got my permanent residency in Japan.

    I’m looking forward for another great year this year 2020. More achievements, more happiness, more good memories.

    I will try to spend less time on social media and more time writing and studying (Japanese and Spanish). Less Facebook (lol), less worrying too much (as I am a worrywart), less spending.

    Above all, I want to be a good mother and a good wife.

  • Food Served at my Maternity Clinic

    Food Served at my Maternity Clinic

    Food and good nutrition is an essential part in recovery from delivering a baby.

    I would like to share the meal prepared in my entire stay (six days, five nights) in my maternity clinic.

    I got admitted in the morning of Tuesday, October 22, 2019, past breakfast time (around 7:30). I delivered the baby at 12:34 in the afternoon.

    Day 1 (Tuesday, October 22,2019)

    Lunch – so exhausted I couldn’t even eat much more take a picture.

    Dinner

    Day 2 (Wednesday, October 23,2019)

    Breakfast

    Lunch

    Snack time

    Dinner

    Day 3 (Thursday, October 24,2019)

    Breakfast

    Lunch

    Dinner

    Day 4 (Friday, October 25,2019)

    Breakfast

    Lunch

    Snack time

    Oiwai (Celebration) Dinner

    Day 5 (Saturday, October 26,2019)

    Breakfast

    Lunch

    Dinner

    Day 6 (Sunday, October 27,2019)

    Breakfast (Last meal in the clinic)

  • My Childbirth Seminar: Sneak Peek at my Clinic

    My Childbirth Seminar: Sneak Peek at my Clinic

    Friday, September 27, 2019, the day I attended the childbirth seminar in my clinic. This was scheduled a week before, during my last prenatal check-up. It was scheduled for an hour and a half, from two o’clock to three-thirty in the afternoon.

    I was the first one to arrive (about fifteen minutes before the time) at the clinic. It was held in the waiting area of the clinic. Upon arriving the nurse asked for my maternal and child handbook. The chairs were rearranged to form a U and a table and chair were set-up in front. There were single chairs and double chairs. I chose to sit on the double chair on the second line, right side of the room, so I could see whoever is conducting the seminar without anything blocking my sight.

    Just a few minutes later, the waiting area was filled with very pregnant women like me. The bumpers paraded and settled on the chairs. Quiet and still.

    This is very naturally Japanese. Nobody talks to anyone. We were just strangers (in one shape-bumpers) packed in one area to listen to something.

    I could not help but compare them in my country where situations like this will surely give you an instant friend through random questions and conversations. Like “Hi! How are you? How many months along are you now?”, “Is it your first time?”, “Do you live close?” “Oh, my baby is so active, she kicks my bladder.”, “Oh, I’m so tired. It’s getting heavier each day.” Etc, etc.

    But not in Japan. People respect and value each other’s space and privacy (sometimes too much they tend to be so cold). They don’t want to disturb and annoy anyone with random questions and comments.

    So I sat there in my chair and minded my own business. I used that short waiting time to try to comprehend what was in the paper given to us. Everything, of course, was in Japanese and I had to use google translate and imiwa? applications to help me understand the written material in my hand. I encountered the word 陣痛 for the first time and found out it is read as jintsuu, which means ‘labor pains’. Another word, 破水 read as hasui, meaning ‘water breaking in pregnancy’. There was a lot of information in that paper it was too overwhelming.

    At two o’clock, the doctor came and sat in the chair in front of everyone and started to speak in a very fast, difficult to understand (for me) Japanese. I was expecting him to greet us and let us introduce ourselves one by one and maybe tell how many weeks we were on ( like what I saw on Youtube how they conduct childbirth seminar). But nothing like that. The doctor went straight talking about the things he summarized in a small piece of paper. He was looking at it and obviously used it as a guide for his speech. I didn’t understand everything he said but I could figure out that he was talking about when to go to the hospital. I understood that he said if water breaking and bleeding occurs, go straight to the clinic. Don’t wait any longer. Also, if the labor pain occurs twice in ten minutes then go to the clinic. Other than that, it’s just a false labor. Stay at home and wait. Out of everything he said, I think I understood about less than fifty percent.

    After the doctor, a nurse came in front and told us that we would all be going to the second floor and give us a tour of the clinic. We were given five minutes of toilet break before going up. During this break, another nurse gave each one of us a drink and a bag of “gift”.

    Then, we headed to the elevator to take us to the second floor.

    We had to be split into two groups.

    The first room that was shown to us was the “beauty room“. I didn’t understand precisely what the nurse said about this room. I just followed the flock of bumpers.

    In front of this room is the viewing room. I was imagining to see my baby in one of those bassinets.

    And then we were guided to see the private room, they call it 病室 byoushitsu.

     

    On the bed, things were laid. The nurse explained that those are things that will be given to us during our stay. It includes a robe, maternity pads, underwear, toiletries. I can’t remember everything. The nurse also showed the bathroom that we can use and that we get fresh towels every day. There is a small sofa, a TV, a phone, a water boiler and a small fridge inside the room. And most important, it has a WiFi connection. It was pretty good. I liked the sofa and the carpet in a deep red/maroon.

    They also have a lounge we can use to have meals or waiting area for guests.

    We were then taken to the delivery room.

    Inside the delivery room, the nurse told us that during delivery, it is requested for the watcher to refrain from taking videos. Taking videos is allowed after the delivery of the child. This is to avoid distractions and also the nurse said no mother would want to record the pain and the struggle of delivering a baby. But deep inside me, I would love to record that very precious moment. I might not be able to experience it again. Might as well video record it. I don’t care how I look when in labor pain. Also, young children are not allowed to stay in the delivery room to avoid distractions as well. After giving birth, the mother can stay in the delivery room for two to four hours before moving to the private room. There were two delivery rooms in the clinic. The other one was smaller than the one in the picture.

    We were then guided to the breastfeeding room. It was just a small room with chairs lined up on the sides of the room and a changing table filled with diapers and baby clothes under it. We can use them freely. There were also baby bottles we can use. I couldn’t take a picture of that small room since we were packed in there. No space to take a snap without photo-bombers.

    And that was all for the tour on the second floor of the clinic.

    We went back to the waiting area and another person came in front to talk. It was the nutritionist. She asked us to take out the pamphlet inside the gift bag and then she explained and showed us it’s content. It talks about the right food to eat, a balanced diet chart, fighting anemia, BMI and so on and so forth. The gift bag also contained a diaper, baby wipes and a very cute baby shoes.

    That was the end of our seminar.

    I left the clinic past three-thirty in the afternoon feeling excited for the delivery day.

  • My Pregnancy Journey – The Rough and Tough Road

    My Pregnancy Journey – The Rough and Tough Road

    Sometimes I wonder how my mother did it seven times. Yes. Seven times. She got pregnant seven times. She gave birth to seven children, and I am the fifth of them.

    Now, it’s my turn to give birth to my first child, and many things, I thought were beautiful about pregnancy seem to fade away.

    Most of the things we read and heard about pregnancy are mostly about being blessed to carry a life, happiness of having a dream come true and the excitement of looking forward to the day parents can finally hold their babies in their arms, see them eye to eye, feel them skin to skin.

    Few talk and elaborate on the rough road of becoming pregnant. And today I decided to spill the not-so-good beans of this nine-month harvest to tell everyone the hardships of women have to go through to bring life on earth.

    THE IRONY AND THE STRUGGLES 

    Pregnancy is not as easy as it seems to be.

    Generally, when couples are younger (late teens and early twenties) and just want to have fun and enjoy each other’s company, the fear of becoming pregnant unplanned is high. Couples use all sorts of prevention to avoid unwanted pregnancy. We have the traditional calendar method, scientifically-based oral contraception method, fun-inhibiting withdrawal, religiously-based abstinence, and worst of all, abortion.

    When couples want to start a family, that is when reality strikes. And the reality is magnified with the women’s age.

    According to Healthline (healthline.com), “Somewhere around 25% of couples will be pregnant at the end of the first month of trying. About 50% will have conceived in 6 months. Between 85 and 90% of couples will have conceived at the end of a year. Of those that have not conceived, some still will, without any specific help. Many of them will not.”

    INFERTILITY

    Infertility is real. And sad. And hard. One out of eight couples has a hard time conceiving naturally and has to use scientific intervention(s) to conceive. I was, was one of the eight for many years. We used all sorts of techniques to get pregnant. We had the traditional calendar method when I had to use ovulation predictor strips to identify the ovulation and fertile days. I also took the scientifically-based fertility pills, had fertility massages for many nights, visited a chiropractor, and the grandest of them all, we did the assisted reproductive technology- In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Test-tube babies as what many call it.

    THE ROUGH ROAD OF IVF

    The roller coaster ride of going through IVF is the worst ride you’ll ever have physically, emotionally, and financially. First, you undergo ovarian stimulation where you inject hormones on your belly for many days starting on day one of your period to be able to produce eggs, multiple eggs, that may enlarge and hurt your ovaries, hurt your body and mess your emotions. Then, you undergo harvest where your eggs are collected by a doctor inserting a needle through your belly while you are unconscious under the effect of anesthesia. The number of collected eggs vary. If you have many (more than 20) you are at risk of 0HSS or Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome. If you have very few (less than 5), you might have to do another cycle. The husband will also do his part by providing the sperms. After that, the clinic will combine the eggs and sperms in a dish and wait for days to see if fertilization occurs. You will be given numbers after days of waiting. For example, from 15 collected eggs, 8 fertilized, 3 made it to blastocyst and ready for embryo transfer. You are lucky if you have these numbers. Many get nothing after harvest.

    In my case, I did two cycles of egg retrievals. During the first round, I had so many eggs (more than 20) but they only harvested 15 because the rest were just tiny sacs. That gave me OHSS. I was bloated and in pain for days. I was asked to rest visiting the clinic for a month and wait until my ovaries return to normal. Out of 15 retrieved eggs, only 3 were fertilized. I was more than devastated. After all that I`ve been through, only 3. And worst, out of 3 fertilized egg, only 2 progressed and became blastocyst. After a month of resting my ovaries, I was asked to wait another month. And finally, after that, I could do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). Before doing FET, I had to save early morning pee in a tube for many mornings and I had to go to the clinic every other day after that, to check if I ovulated already and that my system is ready for non-medicated FET. I was lucky my clinic was only about a thirty-minute drive from home. And on top of that, I had to do these things while working at my regular job, 8 AM to 5 PM.

    My first FET failed. The second one as well the following month. No pregnancy. Just money (thousands of yen) spent. Thrown out of the window. Despite that, we decided to do another cycle of IVF. Back to zero. Injected my belly for stimulation and scheduled for egg retrieval again. We did sperm collection again. They only harvested 5 eggs and out of 5, only 3 fertilized and only 1 progressed to blastocyst. I did not have OHSS during the second cycle so I was able to do FET the following month. I thought that was the lucky one. They say “it only takes one” and my hope was high. I prayed and was very hopeful. I felt lucky when our hospital room was one of the nicest. I really thought that was the moment. My embryo at that time was more than a blastocyst. It was a hatching blastocyst. The embryo transfer was quick. It only lasted about ten minutes. I had to rest for an hour laying in bed and left the clinic after that. I had to wait for days. I thought I was almost there. I could feel it. I could feel that a life was growing inside me until one day I bled and my hope was shattered. But the bleeding was gone. It was just a drop and my hope rose even higher. That could be implantation bleeding. But no. Days later I bled again and the clinic confirmed it. I had a very tiny amount of HCG in my blood which meant that the embryo progressed in my womb a little bit, about to attach in my uterus and could not. It failed for the third time.

    That was the end of it. No more. No more money to throw outside the window. No more spark of hope in our hearts that technology can help us conceive. We gave up.

    SPARK OF HOPE, NEVER GIVE UP

    Six months later, I felt that hope whispered in my ears. I visited another clinic to consult again. I told the new doctor everything I went through and what I desired. I want to have a baby as soon as possible. My time was running out. He grinned and said that it was not as easy as that, that there was no assurance. He checked my reproductive system and to my surprise, he said everything was fine. No problem at all. I used to have blocked fallopian tubes that made me do IVF. But it was cleared. He checked my husband`s swimmers as well. They were very healthy. I did see them under the microscope. I even saw my egg through the TV monitor. We monitored the growth of that egg and triggered ovulation when it reached into its right size. Days before the trigger my husband and I already worked on preparing the swimmers to meet the egg. I bet you already know how it is done. No further details.  But on the ovulation day, we ran out of time and energy. We could not work on sending more swimmers to meet the egg. We also had our day jobs we needed to work on, too. I was disappointed. Everything was wasted, I thought. On the day of the releasing of that one precious egg, how could we be so lousy?

    All I had left was hope. The following days, I was checking on every single symptom I felt. Every twitch of pain was hope. Every dizzy spell was a sign.

    THE PARALLEL LINES

    Days before  Aunt Flo was expected to arrive, I did not have the usual spotting. I thought maybe it was just delayed. But when Aunt Flo did not come on the first day I expected her, a great amount of excitement caught me coming home from work during lunch break.  I had to do it. I could not wait in the evening to come home after work. Or wait for days after a missed period. I took a home pregnancy test (an old one I found lying in the box inside the cabinet under the sink). I peed on the stick and one line appeared. I looked at the enclosed piece of instruction to see how many minutes do I have to wait and when I looked at the stick again, the single line became two!

    The most awaited two lines appeared right in front of my eyes while I was sitting like a princess in the humble (toilet) throne. I was half-believing and half-doubting. Could it be true? Maybe it was just a damaged, old HPT showing me a false positive. But deep inside me, I could feel it. I was not so sure if I needed to announce. It might not be true. But my excitement got me.  I messaged my husband and my sister as well with a picture of the test.  My sister was so happy she called, congratulated me and cried. My husband was in heaven as well. But we were kind of hesitant. We have been through this hope-believe-expect game many times. I had to see the doctor to confirm.

    THE JUDGEMENT – WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID

    The next day, I went to the clinic to tell the doctor of the good news and for him to confirm but to my surprise he just kind of laughed at me. He said it was too early to tell. It might have that the trigger caused the two lines to appear. That I had to go home and come back after a week or two. I could not believe it! That would be a no-doubt torture of waiting and waiting. “I need to know right now!”, I thought to myself. I wanted them to do a blood check on me or something to confirm but I was refused. The doctor told me that all I can do is wait. “Ninshin wa ninshin dakara“, meaning, if you really are pregnant then you are pregnant.

    I went home. That was a Friday, I can still remember. And that weekend I was terrified if Aunt Flo would come. Came Monday, no Aunt Flo still.  I was even more anxious. I know I was pregnant. I needed to confirm. I went to the nearest clinic and bought a new HPT and alas! The two lines appeared again. Even darker!

    There was no doubt I was pregnant. The day came I had to come back to the clinic and the ultrasound showed a gestational sac. And that was when the doctor said I was pregnant. ” If you only believed me,” I whispered to myself. But, then again, the doctor won`t let me celebrate yet. He told me to come back the next week again. He said that a gestational sac is not an assurance of being really pregnant. It could be empty. We needed to see a heartbeat. Another sure waiting torture for me.

    THE RHYTHM OF LIFE

    Fast forward, after a week later, I saw the most beautiful heartbeat on the TV monitor while my legs were wide open in front of the doctor. Oh, well. That did not matter. I could not count how many times I laid on that reclining chair and spread my legs wide open for the doctor to investigate whatever science he needed to do.

    THE PROCLAMATION

    After seeing that beautiful heartbeat, I was then proclaimed officially pregnant (confetti, confetti). I was given a note that I had to bring to the city hall to register my pregnancy and receive all the benefits of carrying a life inside me. I got all these pamphlets, all in Japanese, and the cutest key holder I have ever had. It says “Onaka ni akachan ga imasu”, meaning, “There is a baby inside my tummy” to let the people know I was pregnant while I was not showing yet. That was when I made an official Facebook announcement using that cute key holder.

    THERE IS A RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN AND THERE IS A TYPHOON WAITING TOO.

    And you thought that was the start of a happy ending. No. this was just the start of a chain of discomforts and anxieties.

    During the first trimester, for most pregnant women, nausea is real. Very real. The trips to the toilet are countless. Do not count the heartburn, hyperacidity, breathlessness, not wanting to eat or wanting to eat more, wanting to eat a specific food, usually hard to access food, that when you finally get it you don`t want it anymore. You want something else.

    As for me, I could say I was lucky. My first trimester was not really that bad. I only threw up like one or two times. No heartburn or hyperacidity. The toilet trips were almost normal. I had been a constant toilet visitor anyway, so there`s not much change. I did not have any food aversions or cravings as well. What I had was a severe headache that comes and goes and fatigue that I had to go take a nap inside the car during lunch break one hot sunny day because I was so exhausted after a full morning class. And also my sense of smell was really strong I could tell which student didn’t take a shower and could smell an unpleasant odor like I never did before. But overall, everything was fine with me. I was told I was blooming like the flowers during spring. The pregnancy hormones made me feel more like a woman with long black hair that shines like silk and skin that gleams in every way.

    THE GREATEST FEAR

    Well, I guess, I was not that so lucky either. Yes, I had minimal first-trimester symptoms, but I had the greatest scare in the second trimester. I was diagnosed high-risk for genetic abnormalities because of my advanced maternal age that I had to undergo another invasive test to confirm the baby`s condition. Another thousands of yen thrown out the window of dreams. Another doubt. Another fear. Another series of what-ifs. Another crossroad. But then, I think I was indeed lucky and blessed. The test result showed negative. There was nothing to worry about.

    THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

    After that, I was in heaven of excitement. I took pictures of my belly bump almost weekly (I only missed a week coz I got busy and forgot). I took pictures and videos of my pregnant self in different angles and different attires, in different places inside our house. The weekly photos, I made sure to wear the same dress and be taken in the same location to see the changes. I watched Youtube videos and read articles about pregnancy and childbirth.

    BELLY-WATCHING

    Now, in my third trimester, my pastime is watching my baby move inside my belly. There is nothing more fun, more amazing than feeling and watching the movement of life inside me. My phone is full of moving-belly videos. Sometimes when I review the video, almost no movement could be seen. Only I can feel it. Nobody can see it. No video can capture. So I had to delete it coz it is only taking up space in my memory. Nobody wants to watch a stagnant big belly anyway. But sometimes I get lucky to record the movement that is so obvious.

     

     

    [wpvideo Ox6l13PG ]

    You can see how my belly dances on its own, how my baby makes my belly wave. It is so cute and creepy sometimes. Sometimes, I can feel a part of my belly turning hard and round. It feels like a baby’s body part (bum or foot). Sometimes I suddenly jerk because it hurts when she kicks or jabs.

    MORE WEIRDS

    So far, the worst part of the third-trimester for me is the intense itch I feel in my hands and feet. It is so itchy that I want to burn my hands and feet or cut them off just so to ease my feeling. The itch-attack happens anytime of the day and even during my sleep. Not to mention the leg cramp that wakes me up in the middle of the dawn. I usually have it on my right leg. Out of nowhere in my sleep, my right leg hardens and gives me a lot of pain that I had to wake up and massage it to return to normal.

    And the weirdest of them all, the swelling of my taste buds. One night while brushing my teeth, my mouth bled and I noticed the swollen taste bud in the middle of my tongue. That moment it was clear to me the reason why my mouth bled suddenly weeks ago when I was taking a shower. So, the next day, I went to consult the dentist. But all he could do is nothing and instead ordered the nurses to do teeth cleaning which I was sure I didn’t need. Nothing was done with my swollen taste bud. That night, I had another scare. I was taking a shower and my mouth bled. And bled and bled and it didn’t stop. Red, fresh blood coming from my tongue. I didn’t know if I should finish my shower or just wipe myself and figure out what to do. But I managed to hurriedly finish my shower. I called my mother and showed her what’s going on with me. Blood when I spat. I asked her help to wipe me dry and put on my clothes. I applied pressure on the affected area of my tongue but still, the bleeding continued. I went upstairs and showed my husband. We were about to call the ambulance when I hesitated and thought of putting ice cubes on my tongue to help stop the bleeding. At first, it didn’t work. I grabbed a dress and wore it on top of my sleeping clothes. I was prepared to get on the ambulance but I waited for another five minutes. And thank goodness the bleeding stopped. The next night as I was washing my face, my mouth bled again. It happened again but I was calmer and I knew what to do. I put ice cubes and applied pressure on the swollen taste buds.

    These weird things that’s going on with my body are all but the effect of hormonal changes. The other night when we video called my brother and sister-in-law who is also pregnant (four weeks ahead of me), I saw her stomach so so very big like it’s gonna explode and her foot swollen like it was bitten by a hundred bees. It was edema. Another pregnancy side effect. I’m not there yet and I’m scared to get there. And it looks like I’m gonna get there soon. I hope not.

    ANTICIPATION

    But what I’m most scared of now is to have a premature delivery. God forbids. I am already 35 weeks and I still have 5 more weeks before my due date. Or shall I say – I ONLY have 5 weeks more to welcome baby to the world.

    I can’t wait for that day to come. To see her safe and healthy and kicking and crying. I count every day and week that pass which means she’s closer to her safe birthday.

    But as long as that day has not arrived yet, I can’t rest well. I know it’s not good to be anxious and that I should just relax and enjoy every step of the way, but sometimes I can’t avoid being a worrywart. It’s hard and beautiful at the same time.

    And having these feelings make me love and appreciate my mother even more. She did it seven times. She went through these pregnancy ups and downs seven times.

    What a brave and strong woman!

    FINAL VERDICT

    Salute to my mother and all mothers in the world. And all women who rode thru the same rollercoaster of pregnancy and those who are willing to go thru the same ride.

    It is the rough and tough road of pregnancy that makes it the most amazing, the most beautiful journey a woman will experience. Pregnancy is what makes women even more powerful and even stronger.

    But I guess pregnancy is only second to motherhood when pregnancy ends into childbirth. And that’s another journey. Another story to tell.

    Till then.

  • My hospital bag

    My hospital bag

    I am now 33 weeks and 2 days pregnant and weeks ago I could not help myself watching YouTube videos and reading articles about what to put in my hospital bag. I have come across multiple lists and it got me panicking to have those things right away. You know it is my first time and I am the kind of person who wants things to get done ahead of time. I went to the baby store many times and shopped for who knows what just to ease my mind.

    Until last week during my prenatal check-up, the nurse handed me this list of things to prepare. I was actually thinking of asking her that list but she already did it before I could.

    And to my surprise, I only have to prepare three things.

    Things I need to prepare

    1. my maternity and childcare booklet
    2. medicines prescribed to me as outpatient (which I don`t have)
    3. underwear (during my hospital stay which would last for 5 nights 6 days for normal delivery and 10 nights 11 days for caesarian delivery)
    4. baby`s clothes upon discharge.  

    I said three although the list is four because I don`t have any prescribed medicines. The list was in Japanese, of course, but the nurse was very nice to encircle the things I need to bring. The rest in the list are either lend or provided by the hospital. 

    Things handed by the clinic

    1. toiletries: toothbrush set, soap, cup, hairband, hair tie (rubber), cotton swab
    2. slippers
    3. mug cup
    4. birth set: pads (small, medium, large), menstruation shorts and front-opening shorts, breast band, breast pads, gauze handkerchief (5 sheets), disposable cut belt, chest treatment set (for baby), baby wipes cut cotton (for baby)
    5. baby swaddle
    6. mother`s bag

    Things I can use in the clinic

    1. pajama, gown
    2. bath towels, face towels, guest towels
    3. shampoo, rinse
    4. baby underwear, diapers, nursing supplies
    5. hairdryer
    6. tissue paper
    7. chopsticks, forks, etc.

    Before I got this list from the clinic, I already partially prepared my hospital bag.

    What`s actually inside my hospital bag (partial list)

    1. maternity underwear ( a lot)
    2. robe
    3. pajama
    4. my outfit upon discharge  (tentative)
    5. toiletries (soap, shampoo, conditioner)
    6. maternity pads and breast pads (took them out since it is provided by the clinic)
    7. husband’s change of clothes
    8. baby`s outfit upon discharge (also tentative)
    9. empty file folder for hospital documents

    I still feel unprepared and I am thinking of changing my bag from a barrel bag to a small suitcase for ease of handling.

    I still have to decide what to wear coming home from the hospital, both for me and baby. I am thinking of something matchy-matchy or terno. 🙂

    I am still looking online and in our closet as well.

    I don`t know.

    Sooner, I have to finalize this.

    The suitcase is still in front of me right now while I am writing waiting for me to transfer the things from the barrel bag. I am wondering why, if I only have to bring three things, why a suitcase? :-/

    For sure, pregnancy brings us, women, a lot of mixed feelings – excitement, worry, anxiety, excitement, and excitement. 🙂

    For those who already experienced childbirth, what was in your hospital bag?

  • Temporary Visitor Visa extension of my mother and sister in Japan

    Temporary Visitor Visa extension of my mother and sister in Japan

    Originally, my mother and sister`s visa is good for only 90 days. They came here last July 20th and scheduled to go back home to the Philippines on October 13th. That would be about two weeks before my due date which is October 30th.

    Upon consideration of many things, we decided to extend them a little bit so they can be with me and help me when I give birth and see baby girl in person. We were worried if they can`t adjust to the weather changes (summer to autumn) since Philippines is always summer and it might be too much for them to brace the cold. Yes, autumn is cold for them just like as spring was. To make the story short, despite that worry, we decided to extend them.

    The first thing I did was  booked another ticket online and deferred the payment for another 24 hours (so I can have time to think it over and find other means). I also googled the requirements for extension and found the downloadable application form.

    The next day, I called the immigration office to know for sure the requirements for extension. The lady who got my call dictated me the following requirements:

    1. Application from (which you can download online)
    2. Personal appearance of the applicants
    3. Passport of the applicants
    4. Reason for Extension (can be written in a separate sheet of paper)
    5. Return ticket (open date is recommended since the approval of extension is not one hundred percent sure and there is a possibility that it will be denied)
    6. Income Tax Certificate (mine and my husband`s) or shotoku kazei shomeisho  in Japanese
    7. Bankbook balance ( optional but will really help to show your capacity to sponsor )

    After that, I called the airline (Cebu Pacific) US hotline thru Skype so and I found out I can just re-book the original ticket and save some good thousand yen than buying a new ticket. I ignored the return ticket I booked yesterday (automatically forfeited after 24 hours of booking without payment  settlement) and processed the re-booking. It took me about 40 minutes to re-book but thank goodness Skype calls are free of charge.

    I changed their return ticket from October 13th to November 23rd. I know the immigration lady told me to get an open ticket but the airline said it is not possible. I just trusted that their visa application will be approved no matter what.

    After that, I filled up the application forms and went to bank then to the city hall to gather the rest of the requirements.

    On that same day, a very rainy day, I took my mother and my sister to the immigration in Kitakyushu to file for the extension.

    The lady behind the counter checked the documents and asked me for my Juuminhyou (Residence Certificate) but I don`t have it and told her it was not mentioned when I called that morning to verify the requirements. So, instead, she asked for my Residence card and that was sufficient. She also asked my mother and sister to sign the application and checked the forms again. There were some items I missed to fill-up and she guided me to write them down.

    While waiting for her to process the documents, she asked me to write my address down on a small piece of paper. One tip guys. If there is one thing you need to master in writing Japanese, it should be your address and your name of course. You will write these in any Japanese forms. Again, NAME AND ADDRESS.

    After that, it was done. We were told to come back if we receive some postcard.

    That was Wednesday, September 3rd when we filed the extension and the postcard came Sunday, September 8 although the postcard was stamped September 5th, meaning, it was released two days later upon application. That was FAST!. It was actually the fastest transaction I have ever made with the immigration. It usually takes three weeks to two months to process renewal or changing status. when I filed for permanent residency, it took almost three months. I guess they hurried knowing that I`m pregnant and could give birth anytime soon.

    A week after we filed the extension, we were back to claim the result. We brought  the postcard (通知書）or written notification and their passports. We also needed to buy two ￥4,000. revenue stamp. My mother and sister signed a document (each for one of them) and I attached the revenue stamp on it and that was it. The lady called me and handed me back the passports showing the new visa which expires in January 16th. They actually extended for another 90 days. That was great to know. We could buy another return ticket later in January if we want but it`s not a very good idea because of the winter cold. And the budget. Lol.

    Before heading back home, we went to the nearby Kokura castle, took some pictures, had lunch at the Riverwalk, enjoyed shopping at Can Do (a very nice hyakuen shop), got tired and went home.

    I hope this article entertained you somehow and more importantly help some readers in their plans of extending their family`s temporary visitor visa.

    Below is the link where you can download the application form and read about the requirements.

    http://www.immi-moj.go.jp/english/tetuduki/kanri/shyorui/03.html

    That`s the website of Immigration Services Agency of Japan.

    This link  (http://www.immi-moj.go.jp/soshiki/kikou/fukuoka.html) will help you locate Fukuoka Immigration Bureau.

    I chose Kitakyushu because that is where I am comfortable at and it is not as busy compared to the one in Fukuoka City. Fukuoka City used to have it in the airport but since they changed the location to somewhere in Hakata, I have`t been there.  Even the immigration officer wondered whether my place is closer to Kitakyushu than to Fukuoka. I am actually residing in between these two cities. I preferred Kitakyushu. Not so many people and you can finish your transaction fast.

  • 30 weeks 6 days

    Baby (in my womb) is extra active today- kick, punch, roll and other intrauterine acrobatics, like she’s making my belly wave. She’s also making my deep sleep hard to get. Last prenatal (last week), we found out she’s in breech position. I was told to do some exercises (cat pose) before going to bed to put her in normal head down position. We’ll check in two days if she’s being obedient and back to the normal position which she used to be until last week.

  • Twenty weeks

    Twenty weeks

    Today, Wednesday, June 12, 2019, I`m twenty weeks pregnant. I`m halfway of this life-changing journey. It`s so surreal. I can`t believe I`m here now at this point. After what I have been through, it` so hard believe that now I am holding my baby bump and proudly showing it to the world through my social media site.

    I have been TTC (trying to conceive) for about three years. After years of naturally trying, we decided to go further. I went through the needles of the so-called Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), the IVF (in-vitro fertilization). I did two egg retrievals and three egg transfers but all of those failed. I went through the roller coaster of feelings of hope, fear, and excitement in every step of IVF. All the money spent only for the experience of hoping and losing. IVF didn`t work for me. I gave up. We gave up. We changed plans and priorities. We looked for distractions away from this desire of having a child of our own. We decided to instead of spending money for IVF, we bought a house. We already accepted the fact that we will be one of the many childless couples.

    But, indeed, life is full of surprises. just few months after we moved in to our new home, just when I started exercising more and eating healthy, we got our biggest surprise. I got pregnant naturally! Our sweet surprise is in my tummy now. Growing each day, changing my body, changing my perspective in life.

    I decided to write this article to share my story and to inspire those who are still waiting to have their little surprise. Becoming a mother is not for everyone. It might be easy for some people but hard for others. But for those who are still struggling, don`t lose hope but don`try so hard. It is  when you stop expecting that it will come true.

    I know I am still halfway and many things could happen. If TTC is a roller coaster ride, pregnancy is not an exception. The fear and worry never end. In fact, I just had overcame the fear of having a baby with genetic disorder because of my advance maternal age. I went through another needle. Another test. Another hundred ￥　less from our savings. But all is good now. All is cleared.

    I want to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy. I want to write it down to remind me of every details. And this is the start.

    Below are my twenty-week photos.