Death is the only thing we know that is going to happen for sure, but still surprises us every time it comes. And it’s never a pleasant surprise. It’s devastating. Heart-breaking.

The unacceptable truth that no matter what we do, no matter who we are, each one of us will end up as a memory.

I’ve experienced the pain and emptiness that death has left behind many times already. I had a dear friend and co-teacher who was taken away by lung cancer. Within three months she was gone. I cried so hard from the bottom of my heart. Also, a college classmate was taken away by breast cancer a year ago. As far as I know, two of my former grade six students passed away due to some kind of disease. They died at a very young age. Heart-breaking. One former student was also a victim of attempted rape and homicide. There’s no escape from death. Even here in Japan, in my four years of teaching, two co-teachers already in two different schools did not escape death. One, a young male teacher taken by cancer and the other a retired teacher returning to teach as part-time. She died due to aneurysm. Even the principal of one of my previous schools, again by lung cancer. The most painful was when my dear father passed away just after my dear cousin was buried three years ago. It was a double tragedy. We buried two love ones within a month. I did not cry the moment my father passed away because I pretended to be strong for my family especially for my mother. But I regret it. I should have cried. I should have not stopped them cried. I should have let it out. All the pain. All the frustration. Everything in my heart. The indescribable feeling when you lose someone dear…forever. Life is unfair. It is always is. When my father died, I have asked myself many times ‘Why do we have to live when we all are gonna die?’

I still mourn for my father’s death. I think of him everyday. He’s in my thought. He’s in my dreams. That’s where he stays forever. And all the lives of those I know who were taken away by death.

And the most recent, a former co-teacher, now, a school principal passed away just this morning. A sudden death. Very shocking. Very heart-breaking. How can a seemingly healthy man, very active, a great father, husband, friend, mentor, educator, a community leader be gone like that.

Life is scary. Death is lurking around the corner. Watching us and waiting for the perfect (imperfect) time to grab us in our feet and put us down. Prepared or unprepared, we leave this world while the ones who are left behind are drowned in pain.